Ups and Downs

I had a moment this week that I haven’t had since I’ve been in the classroom: a feeling that I wanted to be anywhere else but here.

It’s difficult enough for an American to teach 16th and 17th century European history to a bunch of 17 year old Hungarians. It’s even more difficult when that American hasn’t studied European history since he was 15 years old…and even then wasn’t the greatest student of history. This is the situation I find my self in, and while most days I manage to get through, this week I had a class that I just wanted to escape from.

I spend at least a couple hours each day reading the textbook Varga provided me, then I go online to read more about the subjects, to add to my knowledge base (because the English translation of a 16 year old Hungarian textbook coving topics like “The 30 Year’s War,” “French Absolutism in the 16th Century” and “Consolidation of Feudalism in Central-Eastern Europe and Poland” (I have no idea why Poland isn’t included in “Eastern Europe”) isn’t exactly the clearest, most understandable teaching tool for an American who has learned more about history in the past three years than he did during the previous 27). Then I write my lecture notes.

This week I was in class and started to talk about how the Czech language didn’t have words to differentiate “Czech Republic” from “Bohemia,” except I said Bavaria. I went on for a minute or so comparing Czech to Bavaria (while the students stared blankly) before Zsolt, the best history student in my class, and often a royal pain in my ass (“Michael, if Spain and France were enemies, how did Spain send troops to The Netherlands? Would they have to pass through France?” or “After the Bohemians threw the two Catholics out of the Prague Castle window, did they burn the castle?” “I really couldn’t tell you Zsolt”) asked if I meant Bohemia, which of course I did. So, I admitted my mistake, and already feeling self-conscious about my lack of knowledge on the subject, felt even worse when I heard a few students chuckling.

As the class grinded on, it seemed my grip on the students’ behavior was weakening. After stopping a few times to ask students to pay attention, I reached a point where, in my mind, I wanted to give up, to walk out of that hot, stuffy room and start again another day. Of course I made it through the class, and afterward felt wiped.

The next day I had the same group of students for history and was very apprehensive to start class. Within the first minute, Zsolt was talking to another boy while I was trying to start the lecture. I paused, looked right at him, and sternly, asked him “Zsolt, could you please showme some respect and not talk while I’m talking?” I got the sense he was actually considered my request. I could see the wheels turning in his head. After the longest 5 seconds in history passed, he nodded in agreement. To my surprise, for the rest of the period he and everyone else were actually respectful and engaged in the lesson. As this continued, my confidence slowly returned and midway through the class, I was back on top. I was able to drop in a few jokes, sprinkle in some factual nuggets that I found on the Internet, and generally had a very good class. When the period ended, the students left on a good note, wishing me a good weekend and vice-versa. One student, Ricsi, or Richard in English, even stopped up front to tell me about a Hungarian history festival taking place next weekend in Tápiógyörgye. It celebrates Arpad, the great 10th Century Magyar tribal leader and first king of Hungary.

I guess, like life, teaching is a series of ups and downs. We try to minimize the downs while attempting to extend the ups for as long as they’ll cooperate. Wednesday was a big down. Thursday was up…I’m trying to stretch that into next week.