Children

I’m reading Cameroonian author Kenjo Jumbam’s 1980 work The White Man of God.

“The novel describes the family and village life of a group of Lamuso-speaking people, a community in which Christianity (brought by European missionaries) has been accepted by a substantial number of villagers, while the ancient traditions of their people are maintained by many others, in its own hierarchy. Because the indigenous culture is so vital and socially cohesive here, Christianity can only make inroads by discrediting it. “

It’s a fascinating work that, to my outsider’s mind, seems like it could be set in Ghana just as easily as Cameroon (which it not too far down the coast from here). 

There are many interesting insights in the book: village culture, religious and cultural change and conflict, local politics, and so on. But because the book is written from the perspective of Tansa, a young boy of perhaps 12 years, we get a unique insight into the family. And as a prospective parent, this passage, set shortly after the birth of twin boys, really resonated:

We all suffered from sleeplessness and Mama suffered most because, in addition to the worry, they sucked her and would not take anything other than breast milk. To make matters worse the breast milk dried up and in those days nobody knew anything about other forms of milk. I looked at the trouble and pitied parents. What rewards do parents get from having children? Is it all labour and worry and continuous anxiety. From the time a child is born they labour to make him grow, to keep him happy, to educate him, to see that he is settled in life. And whenever he is ill they suffer every discomfort to make him well again; they suffer with him psychologically and if the child’s illness increases so to their mental pain, uneasiness and anxiety increase. They greater the number of children, so too the greater their worry. And all that for what? What actually is the pride of the parent? Just to see his child grow up healthy and happy and prosper in life. That is all. All! And having children seems to be the cry of every parent, of every man and of every woman. A clamour for worry, for uneasiness, for pain! Do they know this? Do then realize this before they long for children? A childless couple does not have all these worries, they do not spend sleepless nights, they never sit upset near a sick child and long for every word of encouragement from the doctor or the medicine-man. They never experience all these unpaid-for pains. All their earnings are theirs to enjoy in whatever way they please. They do not have to pay school fees, buy books, school uniforms and they do not have to go to the doctors at night because the child has suddenly fallen ill.

It’s funny. seven months ago I could imagine myself being Tansa. Now, I think of little else besides my princess in the offing.